We had a quick Disney and Busch gardens adventure over the holidays. Our first real road trip with the girls. Hope slept during most of the drive time and Hailee watched Madagascar about 23432 times.
It was great to have quality family time during that time. Jen and look forward to hundreds more trips like that!
The break in did not deter us from making the best of the time. It did show us the quality of people we had in our lives. The friends that stepped up and showed us love was amazing. The cards, the calls and the out pure of love really mean a lot to us. This holiday adventure was more that we bargained for!

Dad's are supposed to be like superman.

Dad's are supposed to be like superman. Super human strength, feel no pain, always there to save the day. We actually more like batman. We do fight for the unprotected. We do everything we can to solve the pains of the world. We try to be there any time you needs us. We both feel like we were born to do the job? The difference between us and superman however is we are just human. We do come home bruised and battered. We do feel pain. Some times we fall and and we fail. We do come with baggage from the past. We are not there all the time because we cannot fly through the air. Dad's and batman will do it all again tomorrow, and the next day and everyday after that. We know we not always make the right choice. We often will be seen as the bad guy. We know no one will ever know our true identity but that is not why we do it. We do it because the physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional pain of seeing you fall victim. We do it because we know you should be protected. We do it because who else in their right mind would. Batman and dad eventually go to sleep knowing his job will never be done.

Five Things You Should Stop Doing in 2012

Very few simple business centric things you can bring into your personal life that will bring you huge value and more hugs and kisses from you family(cute baby girls if you have them) and friends.

Responding Like a Trained Monkey. Every productivity expert in the world will tell you to check email at periodic intervals — say, every 90 minutes — rather than clicking "refresh" like a Pavlovian mutt. Of course, almost no one listens, because studies have shown email's "variable interval reinforcement schedule" is basically a slot machine for your brain. But spending a month away — and only checking email weekly — showed me how little really requires immediate response. In fact, nothing. A 90 minute wait won't kill anyone, and will allow you to accomplish something substantive during your workday.

Mindless Traditions. I recently invited a friend to a prime networking event. "Can I play it by ear?" she asked. "This is my last weekend to get holiday cards out and I haven't mailed a single one. It is causing stress!" In the moment, not fulfilling an "obligation" (like sending holiday cards) can make you feel guilty. But if you're in search of professional advancement, is a holiday card (buried among the deluge) going to make a difference? If you want to connect, do something unusual — get in touch at a different time of year, or give your contacts a personal call, or even better, meet up face-to-face. You have to ask if your business traditions are generating the results you want.

Reading Annoying Things. I have nearly a dozen newspaper and magazine subscriptions, the result of alluring specials ($10 for an entire year!) and the compulsion not to miss out on crucial information. But after detoxing for a month, I was able to reflect on which publications actually refreshed me — and which felt like a duty. The New Yorker , even though it's not a business publication, broadens my perspective and is a genuine pleasure to read. The pretentious tech publication with crazy layouts and too-small print? Not so much. I'm weeding out and paring down to literary essentials. What subscriptions can you get rid of?

Work That's Not Worth It. Early in my career, I was thrilled to win a five-year, quarter-million dollar contract. That is, until the reality set in that it was a government contract, filled with ridiculous reporting mechanisms, low reimbursement rates and administrative complexities that sucked the joy and profit out of the work. When budget cuts rolled around and my contract got whacked, it turned out to be a blessing. These days, I'm eschewing any engagement, public or private, that looks like more trouble than it's worth.

Making Things More Complicated Than They Should Be. A while back, a colleague approached me with an idea. She wanted me to be a part of a professional development event she was organizing in her city, featuring several speakers and consultants. She recommended biweekly check-in calls for the next eight months, leading up to the event. "Have you organized an event like this before?" I asked. "Can you actually get the participants? Why don't you test the demand first?" When none materialized, I realized I'd saved myself nearly half a week's work — in futile conference calls — by insisting the event had to be "real" before we invested in it.

Oprah try out video

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Born to be a father

My buddy asked me the other day, how is it being a dad? "Born to be a father", is the first words that came out. I am not sure if all dads think that way or if even my dad thought that way. This is not a bash against my own father by any means.

Thinking about her , making sure she is taken care of , kissing her every time i see her, waiting in anticipation for her next anything are all things i was born to feel. i often have to try an hold back my excitement when i talk about Hailee.
Still not 100% sure how i will channel that into actually being a good father but trust me i will figure it out. I know i cant know it all and do it all or be there every time but i can try cant I?

I find myself being more focused around her and getting more things down around her. Some how getting the lawn done by 10am , getting the trash out early, or getting the floor mopped means more to me. making her little word better is everything i want to do. i say this more as a rant more than anything. I am not sure I have a take away this time around. Know this however, when you see me know that: He is a life coach, a friend, a husband but he was Born to be a father.

Look and Learn

Look and learn. Many times people don't take the time to look at others and learn. we are many times placed in situations where the opportunity to learn something smacks us right in the face and and we do is sit the and get smacked and not learn a darn thing. We see it and look right passed it. We talk through it. We let it linger there and wonder why we someone did not let us what happen.

I was given the opportunity to see a young dynamic family at work this past week. Were they perfect no, were they 2yrs ahead of where my family was going yes, was there something to look and learn from yes.

I sat in their kitchen and saw the family dynamic and the roles they played an was hypnotized to the point astonishment. How thing moved, who did what, who did not and how it all fell into place. Are there things they could do better, of course. Are there things they did very well, of course. The lesson here is not exactly what they did but that you have to take these opportunities to Look and Learn. Take them and appreaciate the gift you have been given. Life gives you only so many chances to learn from people you love and respect live and in person.

Six New At-Home Date Ideas....

Couples are supposed to have date nights. I get it. It builds intimacy so we'll feel closer and happier. And every six months or so, my husband, Frank, and I have a date — dinner or a movie, then a quick trip to Target — and, yep, it's lots of fun and we promise to do it more often. Then we don't. Because we don't have extra money to go out, and we're too frazzled to plan it, or we're tired, or it's too hard to find a sitter. Or ... or ... or ... ugh. I get plenty of nods when I rattle off these excuses to the moms at soccer. Still, my closest friend, who knows my marriage issues (just as I know hers), is always urging me to go on regular dates with Frank — and I know she's right. I decided the answer was dates at home. They had to be better than nothing, I told my friend. She was skeptical. I was determined. Shockingly, my husband was totally into it. Which makes sense, because of course he's just as bored doing nothing together as I am. The plan was to have one date a week for six weeks. I'm the organizer in the house, so I handled the details. We started our dates after the kids were in bed (my oldest, age 10, turns in at 9 p.m.), which didn't leave much time, but an hour alone, focused on each other, turned out to be enough! Scene-wise, I took the effort and made things look nice, including myself. Low-key works for us; we know that what matters is blocking out time so we can hang out and laugh and be reminded why we love being together. Here's how date-nights-in played out.

DATE 1: Cheese tastingCost: $40 (cheeses, crackers, and a baguette) SHE SAYS: Okay, it's not like we ate raw snails, but for us, this activity was a risk — we're a cheddar and more cheddar kind of crowd. So the point was to take some chances. I went to a cheese shop and asked the counter guy to help me pick out several new cheeses — just 1/4 pound each, nine in total. I bought plain water crackers so we could really taste the cheese, as well as a baguette for the softer styles. At home, I set up a special atmosphere, with a cocktail shaker and rock glasses and our hardly-ever-used set of fancy cheese knives. We popped green grapes to rinse the cheese taste away between samples. I was proud of myself for going waaay out of my comfort zone to try weird ones I usually wouldn't have, like a stinky Papillon Roquefort and a gooey French Boucheron. Frank tried the really funky ones first, like the Stilton with dried apricot chunks, and when he gave it a thumbs-up, I felt less nervous and loaded a big chunk onto my own cracker. I think he felt good that I trusted his taste buds. We had a lot of bonding, "Piña Colada Song" moments: Who knew my hubby likes goat cheese? HE SAYS: The way my wife had everything set up made it feel like a special night. We had cocktails with the cheese, which isn't something we normally do at home, so that was a nice touch too. It was fun to test the cheeses together; it was like an adventure, because I didn't know what to expect with every different taste. I was surprised at how many cheeses I liked. This is something I want to do again, even with other foods. It made me feel like I learned something, which was gratifying. SCORE: 4

DATE 2: Bubble bathCost: $0 because we already had the supplies. (Mr. Bubble is $3.79 at drugstore.com.) SHE SAYS: I was tired and wanted to stay in my cozy green chair watching fluff on TV. But Frank came to find me and asked me when we were doing our date, and the fact that he was so willing changed my mood. Clearly the dates were already having an impact, because he was asking for them! I hadn't had a chance to buy any luxurious bubble bath, but he suggested we use the Mr. Bubble he found under the sink. He's always good like that — he just rolls with it. We lit a candle and put it on a ledge above the tub, where it glimmered on the water, which was pretty. It was warm and relaxing and we chatted, and the quiet, simple physical contact was nice. And yes, we did the deed. But not in the tub. We're not that bendy anymore. HE SAYS: Our tub is deep but not that long, so I was squished, but I didn't say anything because it was nice being close. She used to soak, but not since we had kids; doing nothing for that long makes her anxious, so I felt glad she was able to relax and be still.
DATE 3: Puzzle challengeCost: $13SHE SAYS: I was into this until Frank came home with a 1,000-piece puzzle. That's a lot of jigsaw! We spent the first hour staring at the pieces and not talking. In fact, we didn't even look at each other because we were too busy digging through the box of pieces. I was overwhelmed and kind of bored. Even after an hour, we were only able to get 5 percent of it done. To me, this would be a good alternative to a night of TV or mindless Web surfing, because I liked the challenge, but it didn't feel date-y. In retrospect, I should have ordered a smaller puzzle online, maybe a goofy one, like one with naked body parts as a lark. The zany factor would have made it a better time.HE SAYS: I thought this was fun, but she lost interest about 30 minutes into it. I could tell because she was making her big sigh sounds. She was a trooper and didn't complain, though, and we joked about how much work it was. The time went fast, and I had fun. I'll keep working on it. It took a lot of concentration, and it made me so tired that I fell asleep as soon as I put it away. But it was good to do something different. [Author's note: A few weeks later, Frank went back and finished the puzzle.]SCORE: 2

DATE 4: Game night — BattleshipCost: $0 because we own it. ($18 on amazon.com) SHE SAYS: So fun! We wanted to play a game because it seemed doable in an hour. I loved Battleship as a kid, and so did he, so I stole it from my son's closet. I had to squint to play it, which made Frank laugh. The grid on the new version of the game is hard to read! I have a strategy: Put one boat in a corner then cram the rest of the boats together in the center. No one expects that. (Yes, I won, and no, Frank wasn't impressed with my special strategy, but he did laugh at the fact that I was so pleased with myself.) Since it's an easy game, we were able to talk and connect, reminiscing about our first dates and stories from when our kids were babies. So much of that ancient history is fuzzy now, and it was great to fill in the blanks for each other and bring the memories back.HE SAYS: This took about 35 minutes, which was good because it was a night I didn't want her to stay up too late — because I was hoping to score later. Honestly, that's what I'm always hoping for; what can I say? Mission accomplished.Score: 4

DATE 5: Beer tasting Cost: $30 (for 11 individual bottles)SHE SAYS: We're beer people, and proud of it, but we've been drinking the same grocery-store brands for a decade, so this seemed like a much-needed adventure. I shopped at the local beer distributor, where I knew I could buy single bottles. We pulled bottles out of the cooler at random, and each new flavor was a fun surprise. I liked a lot of the brewskis we sampled: the imported Belgian ale and German malt liquor, and an India Pale Ale; we saved the labels from our favorites. We did a lot of laughing and chatting. (We never just sit and chat — a normal night for us is me watching crap TV in one room and Frank watching the History Channel in another.) We ate leftover cheese and crackers from our other date night — no need to be wasteful, right? — and we drank only a few gulps from each bottle because we didn't want to have headaches in the morning. So the extra beer went down the drain, which, according to my father-in-law, is good for the septic fields, so I don't feel guilty. HE SAYS: This was fun because it was something I'd never done or even thought to do. Most of the beers were microbrews whose bottles had unusual labels, with illustrations like alligators or pink elephants and stories about the beers and how they're made. My wife and I both like art, and we both like to cook, so we were interested in that sort of thing. Midway through, I e-mailed a photo of all the bottles to the guys at work to show them how my wife and I were spending our night. I did polish off a few of the bottles while we sat and talked. The extra beer made me tired, and I fell asleep after, which is funny, because of any date you'd think you'll get some action with your wife, it would be a beer tasting. Still, it was a great night.SCORE: 5

DATE 6: MassagesCost: $31 (Aveda massage oil, $21, and candle, $10) SHE SAYS: This was sweet. I bought a nice candle, and made sure to get oil that absorbs, because I know Frank doesn't like the thick, smelly kind. We were both tired, so we agreed to a 15-minute massage each. We turned the lights low and were really able to relax. We chitchatted, getting past our typical daily downloads of our days, and shared more than we usually do about other topics, such as friendships at work and things we'd like to accomplish in the future. We were naked, oily, and shut off from the world, and of course that was sensual, and of course it led to some additional sensual activities, but our brains bonded too, and that's what made this date rock. HE SAYS: When we were younger, we'd give each other massages with tons of kneading from head to toe. Because we'd both had a long day, this was more like deep back rubs. I forgot how good and relaxing it felt. My wife has a nice back, and I liked touching her skin, which I made sure to tell her because I don't say those things as often as I should. The oil absorbed so we didn't need to shower, which was a plus because after the action, I fell right to sleep. Score: 5

THE TAKEAWAYYou know what? Dates at home worked. The mix of activities Frank and I did (and will keep on doing) kept our evenings interesting and fun, and of course we didn't spend as much money as if we'd gone out — also a plus. Since embarking on our at-home dates, we're more balanced, we're more of a team in managing the house and kids, and we're definitely more polite with each other — there's less finger pointing over stuff like piled-up laundry or budgets. I've even noticed that my guy has started slipping his hand into mine when we're doing errands together. That's so not him. Weekly date nights in: a success!


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